I am now 27 weeks pregnant. So much has changed in the past 7 weeks since my 20 week post, almost all of it having to do with my body. Sometimes I forget how big my belly has grown. Then I’ll see a reflection in a store front window, or a shadow on the ground, and I’m like HOLY COW! And then there are the times I graze my belly on the counter top, or bang it against the dinner table before I sit down. Right. Silly me.
Other times, I’m very aware. Like when I was grocery shopping a couple days ago by myself. I noticed several strangers surreptitiously glance at my very noticeable waistline, then look quickly away. Fortunately, I have yet to receive any untoward comments, and never has a stranger tried to touch my belly, which I’m very thankful. Although, I guess anything can happen in the next thirteen weeks.
Beyond watching my belly grow, there is the anxiety I feel when seeing the numbers increase every time I step on the scale. I know it is normal and healthy to gain weight. I know the pounds are not just the baby herself, but also the fluid and placenta and blood all working to nourish and protect this tiny new life. But still, I’m nervous. Am I gaining too much, too fast? Not according to my mid-wife. Will I be able to lose it after the birth? Please, please, I hope so. How much more will I gain before the end…? My brain struggles to comprehend the changes, while my body struggles to support two lives. And I try not to get too frustrated by the accompanying aches and awkwardness.
On the flip side, our little girl is only a few months away. She is healthy as far as we know, except for her heart arrhythmia, which we don’t worry too much about. She moves around more often now, and sometimes when I look down I can see my belly jumping from her squiggles and kicks. I’m on hiatus from reading pregnancy books, but I’m sure I’ll start up again soon. Instead, I’ve been researching or making baby crafts, and starting to purchase a few necessities as I find them on craigslist or yard sales. Plus, our childbirth education classes start up in a couple weeks. I’m looking forward to attending them, especially with David, an important thing we can do together to prepare for our little girl’s arrival.
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This was such a cute and meaningful post. I can only imagine how crazy it must be to watch your body change so fast??
I know when I see pregnant women, I usually do a double take to – mainly because I’m jealous 🙂 So try to think of it that way.
It is so nice to read about your pregnancy, your thoughts & what’s going on. I admit, I like watching pregnant women too, they look so pretty (and different, yes!).
My colleague at work is due in middle October and she feels the same about her body as you do. When she was the first time at childbirth educational class seeing other women, she asked herself: “Can I really get even more bigger than I am?” I had to laugh at that, really, because she doesn’t look big at all.
I am sure you will make it fine with your weight after pregnancy, I wouldn’t worry about this now because it is simply useless. 🙂
You have to print this and put it in her book. What wonderful thoughts for her to read when she gets older and one day you get to be grandparents.
Emily, I was shocked at how much weight I was gaining when pregnant with Paolo, but I kid you not, that breast-feeding took the weight off after a few months to the point where I was having to buy clothes that would have fit me in college when I worked out every single day. For a while I wondered if I could just pump milk for the rest of my life as my fitness plan. Haha. Keeping it off is the challenge, but jogging each day lately is helping me.
Also, did I tell you that during the last couple of weeks, my feet would swell with water into unrecognizable forms, and that a visit to the beach to soak them was a transformative temporary relief? I suppose a foot-bath of salted water might do the trick. It is wondrous/alarming how our bodies prepare for any number of birth experiences by storing up water, fat, etc.? I used to with that I could mentally override that function, but the subconscious is my body’s boss, apparently.
I’m watching my belly stick out in different places, as i read this! it’s freaky but magic, isn’t it!
I’m watching my belly stick out in different places, as i read this! it’s freaky but magic, isn’t it!