Its sad, but there are some days when I need a reminder about how grateful I should feel for everything that I have. I mean, when I think about it, I realize that things are pretty darn good. I have a loving husband, a cute little house, a fun dog, a good job, a college education, reliable transportation, friends, family, access to plenty of good food and clean water and pretty much the means to do a lot of things that some people only dream about (if for only a little while, and maybe thanks to a little something called a credit card). Of course, this also means I have a mortgage, a car payment, a huge student loan, the occasional marital spat, and I have to spend 40+ hours a week at cooped up in a downtown office.
I guess I’m having a really hard time with that right now.
What is even harder, it that David is staying at home, trying to make a business for himself, which means that every morning I have to leave him there – that very same place where I would like to stay with all my heart. I don’t think it was this hard before, when he had a regular day job, but it is definitely getting harder.
I asked my friend Marcy how she does it. She’s been working at the same job for like six years and her fiance is a contractor who owns his own business. She gets up early so that she can take the train into town and he stays in bed later because he gets to make his own hours. Thank god David gets up with me, because I couldn’t deal with getting out of bed if he stayed in it. That would be torture. Anyway, I asked her what her secret was and she said “I just don’t think about it.” Right… and how do you do that exactly? I tried and it worked for a little while but it must be my Aquarius mentality because I think about how much I’d rather stay be doing so many other things all the time.